Southern by the Grace of God

Recently I have come to have a profound appreciation for southern hospitality and small town living. Let me explain....I moved here from a town where you can't go out in public without seeing at least five people you know. Of these people you see, you probably know who they are related to, what they do for a living, the names and ages of their kids/grand kids, and what team they support in college football. There is comfort in that. It is like having an extended family close by. It also gives people a sense of accountability for their actions. If you are rude or offensive everyone will know about it soon enough...and in a small town that is to be avoided. The saying is that in a small town, "even if you don't know what you are doing- everyone else does". It is true. I "gar-un-tee" it.
I like the familiarity of small town living. I like the feeling of knowing where the people I come into contact with go to church....and the fact that they go to church. That doesn't make them perfect. But I like to know that they have a belief system. It is nice to go to visit with an older couple and know that you are gonna be treated to the local news, the local politics, the local gossip, something to drink( non alcoholic!), and something fresh out of the garden to take home and enjoy. When you go to the grocery store or the local Wal-mart, the person waiting on you in line greets you with a smile and a "how're y'all duin?" and then goes on to ask about your family and life in general....or to tell you about their family. Even if they don't go that far, you at least get a genuine smile. The person taking your order at the local Starbucks knows what drink you order every time...and if you order one for your husband she knows that one too. The manager of the local grocery store greets you with a smile and asks how your day is going...and if he can help you in any way. He is genuine and sincere. When people pass you by in a car, they give a respectful nod if you are a stranger and a wave if they know you..or if they think they know you. The local elementary school is a safe place where children don't have to worry about gangs. It is a public school where the principal knows your parents and has the authority to spank you if you misbehave.
This town is in the Bible Belt. The biggest section of the very small phone book in my town is the church section. I like that too. When life is truly hard, the community works together to help those in need. I saw people from this town raise money for families who lost everything in fires, help the family of a mother who had been diagnosed with cancer that needed medical treatment, and buy Christmas presents for children who would otherwise have had nothing. I witnessed a group of college students and able bodied adults help a woman and her three children move everything they owned into a moving truck so that she could rejoin her husband at his new job on the other side of the country (because they couldn't afford to do it any other way). They even cooked her breakfast that morning and drove her kids to school. Southern hospitality at its finest. Christianity in action. It's the Bible Belt for a reason. Yes, I know all of these people....and where they go to church...and where they work...and who they are related to...and what college football team they like...If I were still at home I would probably see at least four of them at Wal-mart.
This all goes back to the accountability aspect...people in small towns are not perfect. Not even close to perfect. They definitely gossip. If you are rude or offensive...people will know. You will be an outcast of society. Helping others and being polite makes life more tolerable...even enjoyable. After all, when everyone you meet is somehow connected to someone else, you realize that you are part of that big family. It's what we do in the South. People often think of southerners as no brained rednecks.....I say they haven't lived in my town. They haven't met my family. My family would agree.
Flash forward to this current city. The place that I am currently in has neither southern hospitality nor the comfort of small town living. Population wise, it is a lot bigger than the last place I lived in. It is a place where the residents are largely transient. Rudeness abounds. Take for example a recent excursion to Wal-mart. As I was perusing the merchandise, a young woman came over to where I was standing. She did not say excuse me...not in any language. She reached across in front of me and grabbed for something behind the area in which I was standing. She could have easily walked up behind me to grab the item. She could have said excuse me. She could have waited. Instead she opted for rudeness. And she is not alone. For any of you not certain- this is rude. Bumping into a person and not saying excuse me or apologizing is also rude. As is jumping in line in front of a person who is quite obviously in front of you. Never mind throwing your trash out the window onto the street rather than putting it into the garbage, or putting your shopping cart behind someone else's vehicle rather than returning it to the clearly marked and ever abundant cart collection areas. Giving dirty looks to your customer at the grocery store and not saying a word to them in the way of a greeting or farewell is rude. Parking in front of the house you are renting to someone and eyeballing them as they run/jog around the neighborhood without so much as a nod or a wave is right up there with all the other blatantly rude behaviors I have encountered here.....and its a little creepy too. And lest I forget, being an adult and knocking into small children without any regard for their safety tops the list and borders on deserving of an "ass whoopin' ".
Small town life is not perfect. But it sure beats the rudeness that abounds in a larger, more populated, transient area. Yes, there is often the feeling of nothing to do and nowhere to go in small towns but that stuff is truly overrated. I am now in a place that has nothing to do coupled with an absence of the comfort that comes from life in a small town.
Those of us from this small town revel in its smallness. We like the fact that we know all the local business owners and their families. We like the fact that roads are named after local families. We like that we know the parents of the kids in our classes at school. We like the lack of gang tags in neighborhoods. We like knowing where you go to church and who else goes there with you. We have seen city life from afar (and personally-up close) and wouldn't trade it for anything. I have lived all around the world, but have found only one place I call home thus far.There is a saying known to many. It is "(fill in to personalize) by birth; Southern by the grace of God." I finally understand that statement. And I absolutely embrace it.